Liberating

I was hesitant to write this blog entry, and still am somewhat. I don’t want to give people the wrong impression of Africa, or put a tainted view of my trip into people’s minds. But, lately I have been thinking a lot about this, and how far my friends and I have come in this sense, and I think it will be somewhat liberating to write about.

The second night we were in Ghana, a group of about 23 of us decided to go get a late dinner at a place on campus. It was a week before school started, so pretty much the only people who were on campus were the international students, leaving the campus pretty much empty. Two girls who had been here the semester before took us to this place, and we had a great time. We were all just beginning to get to know each other, and so we ended up staying for a while, eating and having a few drinks. At about 11:30 pm we decided to head back to our dorm. The thing about Africa is there really aren’t streetlights, so when it is dark, it is pitch dark. We took the same path that we took to get there, which was a dirt path with tall grass on either side. I was in the very back of the group, and on the way back we passed a man going the other way from us. Once he passed us though, he stopped and turned around and began to follow us. I was one of the few people who noticed since I was in the back, and when I turned to look back at him, I saw two men, one from each side come out of the tall grass. The man behind had a gun, and the two men that came out of the grass had machetes. I had a purse that was swung across my body, and so when they grabbed that, it grabbed me with it. The rest of my group saw what was happening, and began to scream and run. My immediate instinct was to run, but one man had a machete up against my arm, and was yelling at me not to run and give him my purse. It is all kind of a blur what happened, but all I know is that I took off my purse so fast and threw it to him. I turned to run, but they still weren’t wanting me to run away. This all happened within a matter of seconds, and one of the guys in my group, Ryan, had seen that I was behind and turned back to get me. He grabbed me by the arm, and threw me in front of him and was behind me pushing me as fast as he could to get away. It was so chaotic, people running everywhere. Ryan continued to push me in front of him, and led us to the nearest building with lights. We ran up the stairs and got help from inside, and made sure we had everyone in our group. Another girl, Jessica (who I constantly talk about in my blog) was in the middle of the group and after I ran away, they ran up to her and pulled the gun on her and made her give them her purse as well. When we were all gathered on the steps, we realized everyone was safe, and Jess and I were the only ones who got our purses stolen. Luckily, I only had my digital camera and room key in my purse. Jess had her wallet, camera, phone and important valuables in her purse. That experience was easily the scariest thing that has ever happened to me.

For days, weeks even, after I was startled by the littlest things. I was terrified of walking anywhere alone, because if something like that could happen with 23 people, no number of people was safe enough to me. I was constantly looking over my shoulder during the day, and pretty much refused to leave the dorm at night. I would make up excuses of why I was staying in, but in reality I could not get myself to feel safe here. It made me so angry, that was one of my first encounters with Ghanians, and I felt so bitter with them. I knew that I shouldn’t feel that way, that obviously not all Ghanians were the robbers I encountered, but I could not help being afraid of them. Every person I passed I imaged were the robbers, and I found that I was not allowing myself to trust them. It was awful.

We had a meeting with a counselor who sat everyone down who was involved in the attack. She made us talk about how we were feeling, and I was so relieved that a lot of my friends felt the same way I did. She told us we could not let this incident define our time here in Ghana. If we let it, it would. She also made it clear that these feelings would not just go away, but if we forced ourselves to go back out and do the things we wanted to do here, then eventually time would take those feelings away. The night of the attack, I was terrified to tell my parents about it, but how could I not? I thought for sure they would send me back on the next flight home. This was exactly what people had been telling them, the same comments over and over. "How can you let your daughter go to Africa?" "You must be so nervous," or "Is it even safe for her there?" I had been so proud of my parents for being so open and supportive about my dream of coming to Africa. I’m sure they had to of been nervous, and probably still are. But they didn’t let it show, they knew this is what I wanted, so they supported me. And then this happened. That was hard for me, to of been the one reassuring people I would be fine, nothing like that would happen to me, and then it did. It was definitely a wake-up call for me here that I needed to be extra cautious.

But when I did call my parents that night they told me exactly what I needed to hear. Something like this could happen anywhere, it does. The difference is, in San Diego, the weapon of choice wouldn’t of been machetes. I thought about that, and realized it was completely true. It was entirely bad luck that this happened to us on our second night here, and I could not let this incident define my time in Ghana.

The process of getting over my insecurities of being here was quicker than I expected. I made many Ghanian friends who helped me realize that is not a common occurance in Ghana. If that had been a week later, it would of never happened. The robbers knew the international students were the only ones on campus, and they took advantage of that. When school is in session, if someone is caught steeling, the men on campus are allowed to punish the thieves as they see fit. Usually, that means the robber gets intensely beaten up, but apparently they are allowed to kill them if they think that matches the crime.

Anyways, at the beginning it was hard, and I didn’t think I would ever get over those feelings. I am so proud of my friends and I that we were able to put this behind us. We are extra cautious obviously, but we love it here. The people are great, and are so helpful and kindhearted. I realize now that those robbers were very unlike most all Ghanaians. When we have told our Ghanaian friends about it, they get so upset and assure us that stuff like that doesn’t usually happen. I am thrilled that I am completely over my fears of walking around alone, or being out at night. I would be so disappointed if those fears had stopped me from what I wanted to do here.

More than anything, this incident made me put myself in other’s shoes. I have been reading up on other African countries while I have been here, and the problems with corrupt governments, rebel groups, and children soldiers etc . I cannot imagine the fear that must dwell in the people of villages who are under constant threat of rebel invasions. That is everyday life for them. We were in a group of 23 being attacked by only 3 men, what if it was the other way around? For many people here in Africa, that is an everyday fear. It’s hard for me to even try to imagine how intense that fear must be. I can’t. I don’t really know how to end this blog entry, but I think I will close with the main reason I even wrote this entry. I am impressed with what the human spirit can endure, and get through. Not even just talking about my friends and I, but people in general. It is encouraging to me to see my friends pull through so thoroughly, and come out more sure than ever about truly wanting to be here. People ask if I still want to be here after that, and I think I can say more confidently then before, that I absolutely love it here, and am sure that this is exactly where I want to be right now.